The Patriotic Earthling

atheism

Weakling President Asks Imaginary Man In Sky To Bless Nation

WASHINGTON—In a display of weakness unbecoming a head of state, President Barack Obama concluded remarks to his nation Tuesday by asking a pretend man who lives in the clouds to watch over and guide the United States.

"Thank you, and may God bless America," said the clearly insecure president, who, by seeking the aid of an imaginary being who is neither his ancestor nor someone with whom he shares a tangible harmonious relationship, freely admitted that he has little faith in himself and his inept team of jester advisers.

Even more incomprehensible, sources said, is that hundreds of millions of Americans openly worship the all-knowing invisible man—who apparently observes the world's events from atop his perch in outer space—without fear of mockery, shame, or violent government reprisal.

According to sources, citizens of the U.S. depend on the fanciful grandfather of magic to take care of everything for them, from aiding their tiny overseas army, to curing their illnesses, to helping their sports teams achieve victory, to providing little Jimmy McDonalds with his silly toys.

Mindless spirituality reportedly inhibits progress and remains a bulwark against government rule.

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

navytron89

Your result for The Social Persona Test (Version 2.5)...

The Renaissance Faire Wench (QLAF)

Quirky Liberal Alpha Female

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Twitter recap: #straightprivilege

Ever been the only person in the breakroom not able to mention your significant other?

Not ever letting go of your partner's hand purely out of fear

If you've never worried about losing your job for being seen holding hands w/ your partner

#straightprivilege is when you dont have to constantly reassure heterosexuals of the same sex you're not coming on to them.

#straightprivilege When you don't have to sacrifice your authentic self to be accepted.

I will never be denied housing or fired from my job because of my orientation. #straightprivilege

If I'm denied service/treated poorly in public I don't have 2 wonder if it's because of my orientation #straightprivilege

If you never have to refrain from using pronouns that identify your lover's gender, you have #straightprivilege

if you've never walked away frm church bc "the faith" treats homosexuality as an abomination, then you have #straightprivilege

if you've never had 2 have ur lover pose as ur "roomie" or "besti" 2 avoid gay bashing/hatred u have #straightprivilege

if you've never had to worry about being disowned by ur loved ones b/c of who u love... u have #straightprivilege

I can speak out against homophobia without anyone assuming I'm self-serving. #straightprivilege

if you can't conceive of a world in which sexual reassignment surgery is a right for all trans people, then you have #straightprivilege #NEM

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I have been discussing depression with a couple of friends recently, and was informed that apparently there's a difference between being depressed, and suffering depression. I didn't realise, although if I had thought about it for long enough, it should have been obvious.

Everyone, at some time in their lives, becomes depressed. No one has a good time all the time.

That doesn't mean one suffers depression. Being depressed, even for those suffering depression, is usually circumstantial. After a while, the circumstances go away, and the depression does to.

For me, being depressed is-

DEPRESSION

A grey, wet blanket. Wool, so it is heavy, and scratchy.

-which differs from person to person. For Winston Churchill, depression was a black dog that followed him around.

Suffering from depression means that that grey, wet blanket never goes a way. It sits just there. Every. Single. Day.

When depressed, it covers my whole head, so that I can't see or hear, I can't speak, and sometimes, I can't breathe. It's paralyzing. On the good days, it pulls back to just sit there, being heavy, cumbersome, but not in the way. But it never goes away.

It means that, on the good nights, you have trouble sleeping, and on the bad nights, you can't sleep because you're crying, and have been for hours.

It means on good days you're enjoying yourself, having a glimpse of what it feels to be a normal person, and yet waiting for that one look, pause, sentence that will ruin it all and bring you back down. And it does.

It means you spend a lot of time avoiding people, because people hurt you. Never intentionally, but you're sensitive, and you can hear everything that isn't said as well as the many inflections of what is said, and you can read between lines to entire universes that don't exist, and the strength of your insecurity and doubt has the power to destroy even the happiest of bubbles.

It means you spend a lot of time in your head, to hide from these people who mean you no harm. You take refuge in your warmest memories, and then, because you cannot help yourself, you systematically tear them apart, and poison them with doubt, and tell yourself that it never meant anything to anyone else but you.

It means you know yourself well, very well. You get tired of your own company, and when you're not avoiding all contact with the human race, you're obsessively checking your phone or email, to see if anyone feels any need to acknowledge your existence.

It means you see life as an ocean. Everyone else seems to have a boat, and they coast about on the surface as if it were fun. You lost your boat. Perhaps you never had one, and now you're in the water, and every day you struggle to keep your head above water, with this grey, wet blanket tangling you up and dragging you down.

Somtimes, it means you drown.

Someties, it means you're very good at treading water.