Since I'm not using them...

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Never has this icon been more appropriate.

#ConservativeBible

( source )

Yeah, it's bullshit, but it's REAL. The Conservative Bible, the product of The Conservative Bible Project.

Here's a HuffPo article on it too.

a dKos article, with an awesome picture. :)

Here are some "suggestions" from Twitter:

1. And then Jesus said unto the lepers: "Find a charity."


2. Thou shalt covet thy campaign manager's wife.


3. Trust in the Lord with all your heart but be sure and wiretap your neighbors.


4. It's totally kosher to profess faith without deeds, deeds are hard work.


5. "Noah commanded the dinosaurs to leave the arc, for they were kind of swarthy."


6. Oh God, should I be my brother's keeper? Yes, uh, unless he is black, brown, gay, poor, female or sick


7. Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and thou shalt jail all who smoketh it.


8. A man's life consisteth in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. [Luke 12:15].


9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife. Go to Argentina instead to pick up hotties.


10. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life to kill brown ppl.


11. Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth, that thou may later deny knowledge.


12. For God so loved the World that he gave us Ronald Reagan


13. And Jesus said to the cancer-stricken, "Government is not the answer. Fuck off, whiner."


14. In the new #ConservativeBible, Jesus suggests lepers hold a bake sale.


15. Illustration of Jesus healing the sick from the #conservativebible http://twitpic.com/gc89l


16. The Meek shall inherit the earth; But not with Health Insurance.


17. "On the third day he rose again, and decided he ought call his doctor."


18. In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider. foreclosing on the poor


19. Jesus wept. But not nearly as much as Glenn Beck does.


20. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone -- unless you're Karl Rove in which case hypocrisy is OK.

( many, many more )